Chapter - 4

Overcoming Fears Concerning Liberty And Freedom

"Liberty or death" is a necessary law of Me and Soul growth . . . you will never be free from bondage or domination of others until you are free from fear . . . only you can break the chains that bind you . . . freedom under God is alt good . . . you were born to be free . . . put your free will to work to gain the knowledge, experience and self-expression you desire.

Story From Life:

The Man Who Lived in a Cage

"I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly."-ST. JOHN 10:10

If we could get rid of all degrees of fear, including anxiety, worry, depression and groundless sense of guilt, we would no longer need anger, hatred, violence, wars and punishment which are defenses against fear. If we could eliminate all fear from the human mind we would pretty well do away with the practice of lying, stealing, cheating, trespassing, threats and aggressions. For these are largely the result or, what I call the children, of fear.

Fear drives many people to dominate others in the mistaken belief that it is their duty to do so and good for the soul of the dominated one. But domination is wrong. God gave each man free will and an individual Soul with his desires for expressing his individual Self. Sooner or later the individual will arise and demand his God-given freedom.

For example, let me tell you about the man who lived in a cage.

We can call him Paul Deutchler. He was twenty-nine years old, unmarried, an only child whom his parents had dominated all his life. They still talked down to him as to a six-year old.

When Paul first phoned me long distance asking for an appointment I asked, "What is your problem?"

"I am losing my mind," he replied.

We set an appointment date and a few days later he drove up to my home early in the morning. When I met him at the door I realized he was spiritually sick and was about ready to give up trying to solve his problems. These were driving him to the distraction which he called "losing his mind."

Paul was a handsome, big man, six-feet three, with tortured gray eyes, rumpled sandy hair and a shy manner. He had driven all night and had not had breakfast, he said, but refused food. "I just have to talk to you," he said. It was a beautiful summer day with the joy of life, the presence of God and the warmth of the sun in the air around us. But this was lost on the young man. So I took him to the patio to let him talk.

The patio of my home is at the rear of the house. It faces east, a secluded fenced-in garden away from street noises, and is quiet. Generous in size, it has a brick flooring kept washed in summer for coolness. Enclosed with a wide-angle screen it permits an unobstructed view of Mt. Wilson not far away. There is a comfortable and protected feeling in the patio because of the citrus trees— kumquat, golden Rangpur lime, lemon, orange and tangerine—close by. These trees, always green with blossoms and fruit at various stages of development, give a feeling that all is well. Nature in her loveliest moods and aspects is reassuring to the troubled spirit of man.

Paul stretched his big body in the big wicker chair and looked out over the housetops, beyond the high steeple of the Nazarene church a block away and said, "Nice."

I nodded and waited. Paul sat quiet, looking around the garden. His spirit was visiting with point after point of the scene before him. At the far end of the garden there is a wisteria vine, a tall silver maple tree, pink crape myrtle, a Santa Rosa plum and other shrubs and vines. That morning there were thousands of bougainvillaea blossoms, like rubies in the sun, covering the roof of the garage and the sheds. The wild birds, which we have fed for years, come and go all day long. The ground is left bare for their privilege and purpose. Some were there then, feeding or dusting their feathers, making happy bird sounds. All this might not seem important to the reader. But it was of the greatest importance to the soul of the weary and badly frightened young man. For all together it said to him, "There is peace to be had." I often wish hospitals caring for the mentally ill could work out such a "nature" treatment for their patients. I long have observed the good effect of natural peace, quiet and color on the disturbed person.

Finally Paul spoke again:

"I came hoping you would recommend a good psychiatrist to me," he said.

"Why do you want a psychiatrist?" I asked. (I often do suggest that those who come to see me see a psychiatrist. They are not yet ready for the help I try to give.)

"Because I am tired of living in a cage," he said. "And if I don't find a way out soon I'm afraid of what I might do—"

"What is it that makes you so afraid?" I asked.

Haltingly at first, then in a rush and tumble of words his whole story came out without much prompting on my part. Overly simplified and necessarily made brief it was this:

He was born and all his life had lived in a small town where his father owned a hardware store, the pride and joy of the older man's life. But Paul detested the place. However, he worked there because his father insisted and he "always had minded his father." On a recent morning he had been showing an axe to a customer and suddenly the thought had crossed his mind to kill his father with the axe. It frightened and sickened him so that he had gone to a psychiatrist. But he had not been able to tell him his story. He told him he was tired, felt unhappy, thought he needed to go somewhere else to live. The psychiatrist knew his father. Paul began to feel that the psychiatrist was part of the cage that enclosed him; that he would contact his father. So he drew money from his own account and started driving away from home leaving a letter to his parents that he was going west on a vacation.

Paul had read one of my books which contains a case history of a woman who was healed of mental illness, and so had contacted me.

"What is it about your father that you fear most?" I asked.

"That it will never end. It has been going on all my life. I often planned to break away but mother would cry and dad would shame me and I would feel guilty and ungrateful and stay on. When I was first out of high school it seemed a good thing to do. I never had another job except with my father, never had to worry about getting one. They don't charge me room and board. Dad pays me well."

Paul's religious training was fundamentalist. Hell was right down there and heaven was right up there, and his father Hiram Ezekiel Deutchler, certainly had a reserved seat on the right-hand side of the Lord Jesus Christ—not far removed from dead center where the very best people would sit. Paul's reaction to life showed early training of a multitude of Thou Shalt Nots. His parents were more of the eye for an eye and tooth for a tooth religion of Moses than of the loving, forgiving Jesus Christ and the Grace of God for all sinners beliefs.

"Everything was evil," said Paul. "Fun, parties, cards, dancing, sex. Our neighbor boys would go dancing in the basement of their church but our church held dancing was sin and never permitted it. To kiss a girl or to hold her hand was third-degree rape. Every man was born evil and in sin. As a child I used to fear I might die during the night and wake up in hell."

As a result of the strict training he had left the church entirely in spirit and intent. He attended "now and then to keep Dad from yapping at me about it." But he had no faith in the religion he heard. He had a great deal of scorn instead. Later, when we got into what he liked and his individual nature we found that he was born to question, doubt, argue, disagree and had a fine mind for research, a born skeptic. As a child, his father had slapped him or sent him to his room without supper when he dared to question the lightness of his parents' religious views.

"I early learned not to open my mouth, to play dumb," he said. "But I lived a sort of life of my own through secret reading and doing my own thinking. But I was never sure I was right." He always planned to leave home, to go out on his own. But never had made a move to do so. The crisis had come when out of the blue the idea to kill his father with the axe had flashed across his mind.

"I guess I hate my father," he said brokenly, tears in his voice and eyes. "I wish I didn't. But I do."

We began with the healing thought that hatred is a defense against fear, and that the "caged bird owes no allegiance." His fears were of losing his God-given freedom, of never being free to do the work he had come to earth to do; being denied self-expression and getting accurate answers to his heart's questions. Sitting there that bright morning I told him something like this:

"Like all children of God you came to earth with three great hungers to feed. First, hunger for more and more of life itself, leading on to eternal life. Second, hunger for perfect love to receive and to give which includes sex, and which leads finally to the eternal love of God. Third, hunger for freedom and in the last analysis this is the most important of the three. For just to stay alive and experience perfect love put together are not enough. So God gave us free will. We must have freedom in which to use that free will if our Soul is to grow. And Soul growth, learning how to use our free will under the law of love is the purpose of our being here on earth."
As I talked quietly Paul's face began to show signs of his spirit being freed from some of the tension he long had suffered.

I went on:

"Without this freedom of will there can be no question of morals, no responsibility of man to God. There can be no thought of reward or punishment at the hands of God. Nature, past history, modern science and the Christian religion all teach us the same truth, that man was born for freedom. Since this is a God-given right no man has the right to enslave another. Eventually, man will learn and earn the status of the glorious liberty of the Sons of God. You were born instinctively knowing that. There isn't anything wrong about wanting to be yourself. You have not understood how to go about doing that."

The expression in Paul's face had continued to change. He was keyed up with interest, but he had started to relax from the terrible fear and sense of shame and guilt he had been living with for the past few weeks. When I then suggested that he have breakfast he said it would be welcome. I went into the house to arrange for it to be prepared and served in the patio. When I returned he said to me:

"Oh, thank God, you are not going to hate me or condemn me!"

"Of course not," I replied. "But I hope to show you that you do not really hate your father. You hate yourself for not having broken away from his domination years ago. Your wanting to kill him is a symbol of wanting to kill a weakness, or a fear within yourself which you subconsciously feel you should have overcome years ago. You hate yourself for having tolerated this situation for so long. Your self-hatred is a defense against your own fears that you may never have the courage or strength to make the break. But you do have," I assured him.

After breakfast, which he ate with such relish that I knew he was ready and able to do some more intensive work, we set at it.

The teaching went on about as follows:

"Like all our basic desires, our need for self-expression was implanted in us by God, the Creator. We are individuals. There are no two thumb prints alike, no two snowflakes, not even two blades of grass are alike. Trying to press everyone into one mold is dangerous, contrary to God's law. Father God and Mother Nature so prolific, so creative, never repeat a pattern. Creativity has a tremendous part to play in the scheme of things. God works through each of his creations. We are born individuals, units of being and, I am persuaded, we are to remain so throughout all eternity. To keep our identity, our very own personality is our greatest and most important desire. This is why "Liberty or Death" is a necessary law of life for Soul growth."

"I guess that is what made me decide I had to leave home," Paul said.

"Yes," I agreed. "More peoples in history have migrated away from their homeland in order to be free than for any other reason. To the highly evolved soul, freedom is valued above life itself and rightly so. You need to be free."

"Yes, I see that, now. But how do I do it?"

And then our real work began. All else had been preparation for a starting point.

Paul's basic belief about life (see Chapter 1) was the belief in separation; that God exists, but no help is to be had from Him and no contact can be made with Him. This belief gives rise to the fear of being inadequate to the problems of life, fear of competition and lack of cooperation with other people and of loneliness. Here the evil power resides in others, circumstances, nature. Paul was an example of the fact that his false belief about life often leads to mental illness. His belief almost demanded that he hate the kind of God his father believed in. It also had given him a troubled outlook as a boy and teenager. His parents persuaded him he was better off living with them where they could look after him. Paul never had faced the fact, but he actually thought of himself as sick or "different," and so, as a less person. (See the twelve sides of love in Chapter 3.)

"And that's what I mean by living in a cage," Paul summed up the long recital of his life.

"You have done this to yourself," I reminded him. "You remained in the cage they built around you. You let it happen. You used love of your parents as an excuse to stay under their domination. But one of the reasons was that you found it easier to work for your father than to get another job in competition with others. And he paid you well. Your cage was as much of a haven as a prison. You have not married and you say you have no girl friends. We must ask why?"

"Because I don't want to become involved," Paul promptly replied. "A girl might fall in love with me and I don't want to marry. Marriage would mean another cage."

"Wouldn't it also mean responsibilities that you fear might be difficult to meet? That you might not be able to discharge? The trouble with living a protected life, a caged existence, is that we lose our belief that we can take care of ourselves on the outside. Your desire for freedom is in conflict with your desire to be protected. You will have to choose which you want—freedom and responsibility, or live in a cage and be assured bread and care. Have you sold your birthright of freedom for a mess of pottage?" I asked.

Paul thought it over and said, "Yes, I guess I have," and told me of his further fears of people who had power to hurt him or rob him of freedom. They were many and not too well defined. "I just don't want to become involved," he said. It was not from selfishness, which often is the case of the stand-off. He was actually generous and kindhearted. He feared further loss of freedom. When we talked at length about the law of love he started to change some of his old ideas and his fears began to give way.

He had to learn the law of love because his demands for freedom were so great. And freedom outside of love is anarchy. This kind of freedom creates crime, sickness, poverty, all manner of evil and chaos. Paul's need was for harmony, peace and a great deal of "This is the way, walk ye in it," to use his freedom well.

At the end of our first day Paul said he then felt he did not need to see a psychiatrist again. I told him psychiatry, in the main, advises the patient to "adjust," to accept himself as he is and the world as it is and others as they are. But that the Christian religion bids you to expand, to become more and more. I advised him to start to expand his livingness in body, mind and spirit. I advised him to walk, learn to dance, go swimming and learn to play golf. He played the piano better than average and could sing well. I suggested he rent an apartment, a piano and sing and play a great deal. Also, to have aptitude tests made which would help him to understand his nature, abilities and talents.

"I think you are such a doubting Thomas that you could make a career out of it," I told him. "Find out if this is true."

Paul found a new delight in life as he started to expand. His greatest worry was that his parents would "catch up with him and take him home." He wrote them cautious letters without giving an address. He was ready to take a daytime course of study and attended a series of lectures at night, when his parents came to his apartment unannounced. Through his bank checks at home and his automobile license number they had moved heaven and earth and tracked him down, his father gloated proudly.

The parents took charge of Paul, tried to persuade him to go back home with them. "Why did you leave us, son? You were making a good living working in my store," said his father.
"Not a good living, Dad," Paul objected. "Just earning money. Living, no. I've come to think I now have to live my own life in my own way, or die."

'That proves you need to come home with us," said his parents. But Mr. Deutchler's arguments and Mrs. Deut-chler's tears failed to move Paul. He phoned me saying,

"They are making me feel like a heel, a sinner, a criminal and worthless, ungrateful son. I am trying hard not to tell Dad about the axe. Will you see them?"

And so they came to see me without Paul.

Mr. Deutchler's attitude as well as his firm words let me know that while he might not always be right, still he never was wrong about a matter. And the matter he was so right about and wanted to convert me to, was the danger of hell fire to which I had subjected his son and was certainly subjecting myself. After some lengthy conversation I said, "But Mr. Deutchler, why do you not want to give up the idea of eternal punishment in hell? Why must you believe in hell?"

"Because," he answered in great earnestness and considerable heat, "I know so many people who ought to go there!"

I did not say, "Then you are a greater judge than God? Do you believe an earth parent should punish his child every day this year for something he did last year? Is your desire for a living hell of eternal punishment for others a breaking of the law of love, even at the golden rule level? Does your hope of hell for others dishonor the love and greatness of God?"

I did not say any of it. I just sat there silently reminding myself that Mr. Deutchler was a child of God and that God loved him every bit as much as He loved me. My silence bothered Mr. Deutchler perhaps more than my words could have. He glared at me angrily and said:

"You are supposed to be a life-long Methodist, Mrs.

Mann! How is it that you have given up the belief in hell?"

"Because," I replied, "I do not know anyone who ought to go to hell."

My worthy adviser made no comment.

Mrs. Deutchler wanted me to advise her boy to go home where he belonged. "He is sick," she argued.
"What made him sick?" I asked. "He is certainly getting well now. He is going back to school and preparing for a life work that will give him happiness and self-expression."

But she was worried about Paul's morals. She wanted me to know she thought it was very sinful of me to get her son to learn to dance. "Remember, it was a dancing woman who caused John the Baptist to lose his head," she said, her worried eyes accusing me.

"No," I disagreed, "it was not the dancing girl Salome, but her designing and revengeful mother, Herodias; who caused John the Baptist to lose his head. The dutiful daughter but obeyed her domineering mother's command. But your Paul is not about to lose his head. He is about to gain back some of his God-given liberty which he lost by default owing to his not realizing the value of it."

That's about the way our visit went. Paul held his ground and did not return home with his parents. Later he asked why his father so wanted to believe in hell. I explained that Mr. Deutchler's righteousness was actually a fear of punishment. "He is so afraid of punishment at the hands of God that he is afraid he will not hate sin nearly enough. He overcompensates."

"I'm sorry they walked all over you," Paul apologized after his parents' visit which they had duly reported to him in full.

"Why should I mind being walked over?" I asked. "I am a bridge between old and new ideas. A bridge is a connecting pathway between two pieces of land or opposing views. Sometimes the ditch beneath the bridge is wide and deep and dangerous. So let them walk. No one tells me I have to do this work. It is a self-appointed task."

After his parents had gone home Paul began to make great strides in his learning and happiness. One day when he was playing the piano in our home and singing "America" he paused to say, " 'Author of liberty, great God our King'—well that's the kind of God I can respect and love —the author of liberty," and I knew he was safe.

"But remember," I warned him, "unless you choose to use your liberty it will be taken from you by others. It is a law of nature. The body floating idly by will be absorbed, drawn into any powerful force in the vicinity. Your parents are two very powerful people. Stop blaming them. Love them. They did the best they knew how to do."

Paul sold his twelve-year-old car and bought a little foreign-made one. His advance in social skills was remarkable. His work continued at a high level. One day he said, "I think I ought to get married."
"Marriage is a well established and honorable institution," I told him, as we were sitting in the patio one late afternoon, watching the wild birds. Paul had learned a good deal about women and love-making by watching the wild doves in the garden. That day he said, of a particularly ardent male dove, "Look at him knocking himself out." The male dove was coo-coo-cooing and bowing to the seemingly indifferent female who always moved away, but never very far. "He sure means business," said Paul admiringly.

"Yes," I said. "He is not afraid to be caught. Because he knows there is no freedom outside of the law of love. He is courting a mate, promising to help bring up the children. She will have none of him if he is afraid of the responsibilities of family life."

"Do you think he's going to convince her?" Paul asked as the lady dove arose and flew gracefully away, closely followed by the gentleman dove.

"We get a new crop of doves every year," I replied. "So long as we work with nature we find she works with us. Through fear you have been trying to curb your nature most of your life. But I feel that you are now ready to start living fully."

Not long after that Paul made a good and happy marriage and I knew I could take him off my "Please God" list and put him onto my "Thank You, God" list. He has been there ever since.

Some of the points Paul learned are:

1. The door that leads into a prison also leads out— the door of thought.

2. Hunger for knowledge will never die, but rather increase in the Soul of man as time goes on. Our need for self-expression increases as we learn more and more.

3. When you want freedom badly enough you will get it.

We are now ready to take the fifth step in overcoming fear, which is: Learn quickly to trace, place and erase an uneasiness before it becomes a fully developed fear. We do this as follows:

1. When you are conscious of an uneasy feeling, something is not quite right, trace it to its rising point. It will have to do with the threat of some desired good. Name it, as need for a better job, or threat of losing an old one.

2. Place the developing fear in the basic urge group to which it belongs. Remembering always, if we had no desires we would have no fears.

3. Name the basic urge, as for eternal life, name the temporary threat, as, no money to maintain earth life and then erase the fear through reasoning. For example, as Edna Rigger did in her desire for love: "There is nothing bigger than God's love," etc. (See Chapter 3 for full handling.)

4. A sure way to take step five easily and surely is to think of the three basic urges and therefore the three basic fears as the three primary colors. For example:

Threats to the basic urge of life are thought of as red—the red blood of life.

Threats to the basic urge of love are thought of as blue—true blue love.

Threats to the basic urge of liberty are thought of as yellow—or light, enlightenment. Light brings freedom.

When you learn to think quickly, "This is only a little old blue fear and I will quickly erase it," you will find your fears having to do with other human beings, your opinion of yourself, and of God and your relationship to Him will no longer give you trouble.

If you have trouble in getting the fear down to a color, or basic urge, ask yourself what it would take to make you blissfully and utterly happy. Then ask yourself what seems to be standing in the way or keeping you from that happiness. This will uncover the fear and you then can trace and erase it easily.

5. Continue to work with step three which, you remember, is to find new information, facts, truth that will set you free from fear by keeping your mind tuned in to the expanding ideas of others who are not afraid. Your daily paper is filled with proof that others are not afraid and are carrying out God's ideas for a better world as rapidly as existing conditions will permit them to do so.

For example:

Nuclear scientist Francis B. Porzel recently said that science "sees God on every frontier."

At any time we may find life on other planets. Let your mind dwell on this idea for a while. What would it mean to us earthlings if our scientists actually found intelligent, living beings much like ourselves on other planets? What would happen to some of our philosophical, theological and social attitudes?

One thing is certain, transportation is taking great strides forward. It is only about fifty years since the Wright brothers first flew an airplane. Hall L. Hibbard, Lockheed's genius who has been responsible for the design and development of many famous military and commercial aircraft, including the Lockheed Constellation, among other predictions made the following:

We will soon have family airsedans that will probably outnumber automobiles and will fly at 500 miles an hour and may even be run by "broadcast power," instead of today's fuels. New York and Amsterdam will soon be about ninety-eight minutes apart. Rocket ships will be used for long flights at speeds beyond our belief.

No one knows how much good is right at hand. Only God knows. If the ordinary person went at life and problems as the scientist does, to get answers and results, without the slightest trace of fear, how wonderful life on earth would be!

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